Online English Journals
Police Report:
Detective Bob Conner.Cereal Number-12464 County Police Dept. Murder Police Report No.57639587
At around 3:30 am, a woman repoted hearing a scream come from a nearby house. Foul play was suspected, so me and my partner were dispatched immediatly. At around 4:00 we came to one house were a man welcomed us in. We told him what we were investigating and he offered us to search the house. The man was calm and nice and I didn't suspect him of anything. We then sat down and started talking when the man jumped up and started complaining about a ringing noise and demandin if we heard it to. He then started screaming, if my memory is correct, "Villans! Dessemble no more! I admit the deed!-tear up the planks-here,here!-it is the beating of his hideous heart!" He then began to tear up the floor boardsto reveal a mangled, bloody, chopped up corpse that he had concealed there. My partner instantly grabed him as I put him in handcuffs. We the brought him back to the police station and locked him in cell number 4.
ATTACK OF THE FLYING PIE!!!!!!!!!
Once there was a boy named Billy. He had heard stories about the haunted house on his street, but thought it was all nonsense. Little did he know what would happen to him later. That very night, he was watching the news and saw a story about a teenager who went in the house, but never came out. He laughed and thought it was just a prank and decided to find out for himself. He called his friends, Bob and Joe, and tried to talk them into going. When they said they didn’t want to because they thought they would never come out, he made fun of them and called them chicken. They finally agreed and would soon wish they hadn’t. They walked to the house and opened the door, the hinges almost rusted shut. As they walked in there were candles lit everywhere. Suddenly the candles went out and the room was pitch black. Suddenly they saw a pie with bat wings shooting towards them. Joe screamed and the pie picked him up and carried him away. The candles were suddenly lit again and bob was hiding in a corner. Billy thought it was just a trick and started laughing. The lights went out again and Bob started yanking on the door. It was locked. The pie rushed at them and attacked Bob. The pie began to eat Bob until there was nothing left. The pie flew away and the lights came back on. Billy was a little worried now but was still convinced it was a prank. “Guys,” Billy said, “Guys it’s not funny. Hey guys.” Suddenly the light went out…. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!